


The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore

by Fair_Feather_Friend



Category: Cats (2019), Cats - Andrew Lloyd Webber, Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats - T. S. Eliot
Genre: Cats, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:27:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21976579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fair_Feather_Friend/pseuds/Fair_Feather_Friend
Summary: Why Mr. Mistoffeeles says The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore
Relationships: Mr. Mistoffelees/Rum Tum Tugger
Comments: 5
Kudos: 258





	The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't seen the movie, but I heard that Mr. Mistoffeeles sings his own song, and has a crush on Victoria. So I wrote this.

"The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat."

"And there isn't any call for me to shout it."

"For he will do as he do do."

"And there's no doing anything abou-a-wow-t it."

The Rum Tum Tugger was a powerful tom, all strut and swagger. He swished around the junkyard as if he owned it, surrounded by adoring fans, all singing his praises, intent on wooing him.

Mr. Mistoffelees remained on the fringes, watching intently from the safety of the shadows. The small black cat's tail twitched as he studied his prey. Patient. Waiting. True hunters knew how to stalk their prey, and when to choose their moment to pounce.

The Rum Tum Tugger swaggered around, yowling his song, his legions of admirers echoing him. He drew them close, only to cast them away, time and time again. 

"The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat." Yes he was. Curious was a word, filled with different meanings. Strange. Queer. Contrary just for the sake of it. 

He was toying with them and no one could see it. He couldn't have sung it louder, what he was looking for, and while they joined in with his song, no one was listening. 

There was a puzzle here, a trick, and Mr. Mistoffelees was an expert at magic words. 

He leapt down lightly, slipped through the shadows and closer to the lime light, and the star of the moment. Mr Mistoffeles waited until he was noticed, he made eye-contact, fierce, defiant, for all his diminutive size.

"The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore." Mr. Mistoffelees declared. He held the surprised Tom's gaze. The adoring fans gasped in horror, at the audacity. 

The Rum Tum Tugger bristled. Mr. Mistoffelees kept staring him down, a challenge. "A bore?" As if it was the greatest insult that could ever be said. As if no one had ever called The Rum Tum Tugger such a awful thing before. 

With that response, Mr. Mistoffelees knew he had his prey, and no one else even realised it. He was an expert at stealing in plain sight what everyone wanted. 

"If they offer you cream you'll just want water. If they give you love you'll just want slaughter."

There was a deep rumbling purr in response, which Mr. Mistoffelees echoed. It was with silver whiskers and velvet paws, not needle fangs and hissing that The Rum Tum Tugger approached. Slinking. Curious. 

"And we'll all say: Oh! Well I never! Was there ever A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!" The Rum Tum Tugger sang.


End file.
